One-Shot Fiction: Mothers for Dummies
by Nabiki GMYW
Summary: What happens when a woman claims to be your mother, only you’ve never met her before?


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Mothers for Dummies

Overview: What happens when a woman claims to be your mother, only you've never met her before.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Disney save for Ms. Norma Burnett. Story idea by Ordeysia, written by Nabiki GMYW. E-mail us with comments at [epagan@caribe.net][1] or at [Winturbine@compuall.net][2]

Mothers for Dummies

ACT I

__

~ Surprise, surprise ~

The four women sat around the card table. Each woman was well into her 50's and had recently gotten her hair done. Each looked at the others and then at her cards. Marion Jones sat on the north side of the table and secretly wished they were playing mahjong. Carol Smith wished they were playing Hearts, a game she could beat anyone at. Ariane Faustina wished she were at her house playing on her computer. Norma Burnett wished that she were anywhere except here, playing a game of Bridge with "old fogies".

"The dummy leads." Marion said softly. Carol laid down her two of clubs.

"You can't play that card Carol, this isn't Hearts." Norma said. Carol smiled gently, set her cards down, stood and put her sweater on.

"Carol, where are you going?" Ariane asked.

"Home. At least I can play Hearts there." She responded. Norma shrugged and stood herself.

"And where are you going Mrs. Burnett?" Marion asked.

"I've got some research to do."

"On what?" Ariane asked.

"I'm looking for my son." Replied Norma. At the sound of this the old women laughed.

"Is he the one who runs the motel?" Marion asked, making a reference to the movie _Psycho_. Norma had always been made fun of just because her initials spelled out NB. Norma Bates, or Norma Burnett.

Norma smiled slyly though and responded with, "Well, how's Indy? Find anymore lost arks?" A reference to the Indiana Jones movies. Marion had been the star actress in _Raiders of the Lost Ark_. 

"Oh, honestly," said Ariane, "Why do you do this to yourself? He's been missing for what? Fifteen, seventeen years?"

"What's your point?" Norma replied.

"That," Carol continued, "It ain't healthy."

Norma shrugged. "Neither is dating a younger man, eh Carol?"

Carol suddenly turned red and looked away, "Mike just happens to love me…"

Mrs. Burnett smiled and let the subject go. "Later, girls. I'll see you tomorrow."

It was a very pleasant day outside; the old cronies would've loved it if they weren't so adamant about staying inside. Yes, indeed, it was a lovely day in the town of Nowhere, USA. The place where parents loved to raise their children; the place where children were dying to get out. Norma remembered one child that managed to sneak out: her own.

She and Charles had just split up a year before. He took off for Florida and had taken dear Alan with him that year, for a summer vacation. Dear Alan had been barely fifteen. Charles always had a thing for boats. Naturally, he took her son for a ride. The downside was that Charles had a hell of a lousy timing. 

A hurricane. Big one. Houses destroyed. Floods. Huge waves. Big enough to sink a huge boat, not to even mention a small one. No bodies were found.

She flew down there, of course. Checked with the police and everything. Claimed Charles was drunk like a dog and he didn't listen. That didn't surprise Norma much, that was reason of the divorce, and it was a bitter one.

But she had heard stories from Charles's friends. That he wanted sole custody of their son. That he would do anything to keep him. Norma scoffed at the idea first, but it kept her awake at night. What if…? It sounded like a bad movie plot, but what if he faked their death? _What if…?_

It was that, or accepting her son's corpse was some where in the bottom of the ocean. Guess which option she was leaning to accept.

The phone call came the next morning. Norma was doing her laundry or some other mindless task at the tune of the Beach Boys. Later, she would drop by her friends' house to play a mindless game of poker. Mindless here, mindless there; mindless everywhere. It was almost a routine now.

But the routine met a slight change in plans. "Hello, Norma Burnett speaking."

"Um, Mrs. Burnett? It's me, Walker." Said a male voice that seemed out of breath.

__

Probably from all those cigarettes, Norma thought. In the past, she had contacted expensive, yet useless private detectives to find her son. Later, she was contented with dirty, cheap ones. She almost knew what he was going to say, _Sorry, my expenses have tripled, I need this, I need that, I need even more of that---_

"I found your son." Was what Walker actually answered.

"What was that!? Say it again!"

"I said I found your son."

Norma was shocked for a second. _He found my…son? He found my son!? He found MY SON!?!_ "Are you there? Ma'am? Ma'am?"

"Yes." She said in almost a whimper, then repeated with a stronger voice, "Yes! Where is he? Is-is he all right? Where did you find him? Is he…" _dare I say it?_ "Alive?"

"Oh, he's alive." Replied Walker, somewhat sarcastic. "In fact, living the high life."

"Where?" she asked, as she clutched the telephone like a lifesaver.

"The Big Apple. Manhattan. According to this, he works on some kind of multinational corporation. He even owns a nice little Porsche."

"Wow." She said, "New York." Then she gave a sly smile to no one in specific. "Well, I've always wanted to visit the Statue of Liberty. Now is a good time as any."

__

Girls, eat you heart out. My baby's coming home!

* * *

It was a particularly boring Saturday at Eerie Building. It was mid-afternoon, that meant between lunch and dinner, a time when the mind goes idle because there's nothing good on TV. The real action happened by night. But it was now a Saturday afternoon. And it was, well, boring.

David Xanatos had had plans, but his darling Fox came down with a really nasty flu. He had played nurse for awhile until she fell asleep. Now he was an extremely rich man with way too much free time in his hands. A dangerous combination.

At least Alexander was around. Only the little boy didn't wanted to hang out with good ol' dad. "I want to do some magic with Uncie Puck!"

Now Owen had taken off to a meeting for Xanatos. Which was all good and fine for Xanatos. If he wasn't careful, Alex could end up calling Owen 'dad' and Xanatos 'hey, you, with the beard.'

"Now Alex, Uncle Owen's busy right now. Why don't we play with blocks?" Xanatos told Alex. "Make a castle?"

"Can I make the castle float?"

"I guess so."

"Yay!"

What he meant by 'making it float', was making all the colored blocks glue to the ceiling by some strange magical force Xanatos couldn't begin to comprehend. Well, it's the thought that counts.

The rest of the Saturday would've been wasted ungluing the blocks from the ceiling if it weren't for a most fascinating call from security.

"Owen's… whatta?" Xanatos stammered.

"Mr. Burnett's _mother_." The security guard answered.

Xanatos quickly headed to his office, Alex in arms, and turned on the computer. He inspected the image of the security camera. She was a 57-year-old, with graying blond hair that must have been bright once. She seemed very energetic and had a spark in her eyes. He seriously doubted she was an enemy, or even fey so that she could be Owen's 'mother'.

It was a very, very boring Saturday. This, however, could change that.

He headed to the elevator, Alex still in arms, to greet Mrs. Norma Burnett. "Why?" Alex had asked.

"Why, to check if that woman's really uncle Puck's mother." Alex gave him a dubious look. Xanatos sighed. "Yes. I know. But it doesn't hurt to try."

The elevator's doors opened and the woman came out, accompanied by a security guard. Xanatos nodded to him and he left.

"Hello, Mrs. Burnett. I'm David Xanatos, Mr. Burnett's superior. How may I help you?"

"Xanatos? All of this is yours, right?" she asked, "My, I've never met someone as important as you."

The millionaire gave her a sly smile. "Thank you. Now," he said, trying not to sound too eager, "What's this about you being Owen's mother…?"

* * *

At the library, with freshly broiled coffee Xanatos and the old woman talked amiably. She was no enemy, that was for sure and she was no immortal. And that was the thing Xanatos felt most sorry for.

"So… your son vanished in a storm when he was fifteen on a boat trip with his father. They never found the bodies. You assume he's still alive. And that he works for me…?"

"I know it sounds farfetched…" she replied, "But when you think about it, it kinda sorta makes sense. My ex was a ruthless man, capable of everything. Even fake his death. He could've lied to him or something…"

__

Does she have any idea how improbable that sounds? Xanatos wondered, _I know that's not his mother…but I guess I have to play along until he gets here, _then spoke up. "You know, you say you looked him up by name. Chances are Owen doesn't look like your son after all."

"Oh," Norma said, "That's right." She searched her purse for something, and took out a photo. "I almost forgot the most important part." She handed him the photo. "Does this look like him?"

__

This is my chance to let her down easily. But when he looked at the photo, he went "Damn he looks a lot like Owen!" The boy in the photo had the same bright blond hair and blue eyes. And his face… if Owen-type would've actually had a childhood, he would've looked like that. _This is going to be more difficult than I thought…_

"Well, does he?" Norma pleaded with stars in her eyes.

Xanatos didn't answer that right away, for the sake of not sinking into more trouble, instead he asked, "Tell me… just how many years has he being missing? Around ten?"

Norma bit her lip and nervously shook her head.

"Fifteen?"

She shook her head again.

"Well?" he asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Twenty years." She replied, "Twenty years hoping that my baby wasn't dead after all. Tell me," she said with desperation in her eyes as if she were about to cry, "_Is it him?_"

Twenty years was a long time. _She must be destroyed_, he thought, _If I lost Alex I'd be hoping he was alive somewhere too…_then a darker thought took over, _If I say no… she'll be… destroyed…_

* * *

Owen Burnett checked his beeper again, for the six thousandth time. Xanatos had been sending him pages for fifteen minutes straight. He guessed it was some kind of emergency, but it was odd because he didn't call to the cellular. It led him to conclude this was something he wanted to keep quiet no matter what. The last message read, 'We need to talk. IRL.'

So desperate he was, that Owen found the millionaire waiting for him at Eerie's lobby. "Owen! Come here!" said the millionaire as he grabbed him by the arm.

"What is it, sir?" he asked, alarmed at Xanatos' alarm.

He almost dragged Owen to the elevator. After the doors closed, Xanatos calmed down and said, "Owen… you have a problem."

"_I_ have a problem?" the butler repeated, surprised.

Xanatos sighed. "I don't know how to say this…" he sighed again, "What was your mother like?"

Owen shot him a funny look. "I'm not following."

"Your mother. I _know_ you must have a mother somewhere. You didn't pop out of nowhere."

"Yes," he replied, "But I never met her. Oberon took me in when I was but hours old and rumor has it he killed her."

"Then this is going to get complicated." Xanatos replied, "Upstairs there's a woman who claims she's your mother."

"_My_ mother?!" he said, his surprise meter going through the roof. "Is she one of Avalon?"

"No… she thinks she's _Owen-type's_ mother."

The second notice surprised him more than the first. "She's a human? And she thinks she's my mother?"

"In a nutshell, yes." Xanatos replied, "Let me explain it to you…"

* * *

"You told her **what**!?" Owen said more sharply that he would've liked. "You told her I'm her long-lost son?!"

"I never said that! You know I'd never say that. I just told her you looked a lot like her son." He hesitated. "She jumped to her own conclusions."

"So she _does_ think I'm her son…"

"She jumped to her own conclusions!" Xanatos retorted. "And yes, she thinks she's your mother! Look," he explained calmly. "She lost her son twenty years ago. She came all the way from a little town I've never even heard about just to see _you_. Let her down easy."

"What was his name again?"

"Alan. Alan Burnett."

"There you go. That's not my name. That should've told her I'm not her son."

"_But_," Xanatos replied, "It _is_ your middle name. It's in your birth certificate."

Owen stared at him shocked. "How did you know? I've never told anyone."

"I'm telling you," Xanatos said, "The lady has done her homework." Then he couldn't help but add. "Even _I_ didn't know you had a middle name. Why Alan?"

Owen sighed. "I couldn't choose between names so I wrote them both. But I never told anyone after all."

"Well…'Alan'… that middle name is what brought her to you." Xanatos commented. "You have to set the record straight."

"But why should I play her game?" Owen asked.

"Please," pleaded the millionaire, "You worry yourself to death when Alex gets lost in the mall. Imagine this mother who lost her son twenty years ago. She's desperate. She's totally convinced you're her son. Just let her down easy." 

"The woman's delusional if she thinks some stranger could be her son."

"Tell her the facts and convince her it simply is not possible. Deep down, though," Xanatos replied, "She _must_ know how farfetched it all sounds. "

* * *

The woman, Norma, was sitting on the couch moving her hands nervously. "Easy, Owen. Don't break her in half yet." Xanatos whispered to him.

__

This is so ridiculous! he remembered thinking, _It's best that I simply tell her the truth and not prolong the inevitable…_

"Alan?" she whispered when she saw him. Her eyes were full of hope and love and Owen realized it was going to be difficult to let her down without destroying her will to live.

"Hello…" _Mrs. Burnett? Norma? Mother?_ Owen found himself wondering what to call her.

She ran to him and hugged him affectionately. Owen was at lost and gave Xanatos a 'help me' look. 'Hug her back!' Xanatos mouthed back. He did, awkwardly muttering, "Um… There…there…"

"I never thought I'd see you again!" she told him between tears.

_Oh, gods…_he thought, _this is going to be more difficult than I thought…_He pulled her away. He tried to say something but all words escaped him. The best he could manage was, "Mrs. Burnett, I presume?"

" 'Mrs. Burnett'?" she repeated, "Why do you call me that? I'm your mother."

Owen gave an annoyed and confused look to Xanatos then faced Norma again. "Mr. Xanatos briefed me on your situation. I wanted to say I'm sorry for the loss of your son."

"How can you say that?" Norma asked. "I'm your mother!"

"Ma'am," he continued, "It's impossible that you're my mother. You're just confused. I'm Owen Burnett. Alan's my middle name, and I never use it. You must have confused me for someone else. I'm sorry."

"But you look just like him!" Norma replied, and she handed him the photo.

"I look nothing like---" he took a good look. _If I didn't know better, I'd swear that's me, only fifteen years old…_"I do see a resemblance…" Owen was forced to admit. Before Norma could give a triumphal cry, he replied, "It's just a coincidence, I assure you."

Norma gave an exasperated grunt. "I can't believe it! Alan, it's me, _your_ mother!" her tone turned to an pleading one. "Are you sure I'm _not_ your mother…? My own boy, he…" she continued, "he disappeared back in '79. He was just fifteen… He'd be right about your age by now. Thirty-five, isn't it? Yes, he'd be around thirty-five. I checked your birth certificate. You two were born in the same year, 1964."

Owen didn't answer that. _Actually, I'm supposed to be forty by now, just like Vogel… Theoretically, I would've been born 1959 and Alan was born five years later, in 1964… I'd be fifteen in '74 not '79 like Alan…_a dreaded thought took over, _I made myself Vogel's same age… but in the birth certificate I wrote myself five years younger…! Puck didn't do the math!_

"You know… my ex husband… he was a selfish, miserable little bastard who wanted to make my life as miserable as his. You… I mean, Alan… was the light of my life. I never accepted you were gone. And here you are."

Xanatos' assistant tried to do this as tactful as he could. "I… am not… Alan… I've never met my mother, but I know it's not you."

"How can you be so sure?" she replied, "Maybe you hit your head too strongly. What where you doing in 1979?"

Owen suddenly hit a brick wall. _I hadn't even met Renard in '79…I'd be around…_he tried to do some quick math. _I'd be twenty and Alan would be fifteen…But I miscalculated by five years…so…I'd really be fifteen…_"I was in High School. Tenth grade. With my father and mother. I was nowhere near Florida at that time. I'm sorry."

Norma was momentarily distressed, but then shot him a sly look, "I thought you told me you never met your mother."

The blond man hit another wall, but didn't let it show. "He remarried."

"Oh…" she replied, distressed again. "I guess… I guess it's not you after all…" She felt as if the world had fell apart, but she kept her head together. "I'm sorry for wasting your time, Mr. Burnett. My apologies."

"It's all right." Xanatos spoke up, "In fact, maybe we can help you find your real son. I've got a few friends down at the 23rd police station. Detective Elisa Maza would be glad to help."

"Thank you." Norma replied with a whisper.

"Come on, I'll show you to the door." Xanatos told her, the most comforting way he could.

"Don't worry, sir." Norma replied with sotto voice. "I can show myself out."

As she walked away, Owen couldn't help but ask to his boss, "I didn't say anything to hurt her, did I?"

"No, you didn't," Xanatos replied, "You just told her the truth. Sort of."

ACT II

~ _Busted ~_

Elisa Maza was sitting at her desk while the sun fell. She knew Goliath expected her at the castle, but she had to do someone a favor first. _You have to help her,_ Xanatos had told her, _this is what happened…_

So she lost her son and thinks Owen's him? She thought as she gulped down some bad coffee. _Now that's something interesting. Interesting … but impossible._

The lady cop saw an old woman approach her and she assumed that was Mrs. Norma Burnett. She had a blond graying hair, and Elisa had to admit there was some resemblance to Owen. _Interesting … but impossible,_ Elisa thought again. "What can I do for you, Mrs. Burnett?" Elisa asked courteously.

"Detective Maza," she replied sighing, "There's not much you can do, I believe. Mr. Xanatos already told you, didn't he?"

"Yes," Elisa said, "Twenty years is a long time."

"Yes," Norma admitted, "It is kind of stupid, if you think about it…" she said, with gloom.

The last thing Elisa wanted to do was hurt her even more, so she chose to move on to another subject, "I'm curious, how did you find Owen?"

"A private detective." She replied, "He found it curious all those holes in Mr. Burnett's history."

An alarm went off inside Elisa. "Why, whatever do you mean?"

"I mean that there's not much about him before he started working for a Mr. Renard." She replied, "I wasn't about to throw myself at him without making sure first. All his school records are there, but according to Mr. Walker---my detective---no one seems to remember him."

"Um…it happens…" Elisa commented.

"Walter thought my ex had faked it all." Norma continued. "It made sense, actually. Mr. Burnett has a very interesting history… as if…he appeared out of nowhere…"

Elisa went to full alert now, and she quickly tried to scoff it off, "Well, this is NY, it's hard to keep records of someone…"

Norma then added with a conspiracy-type tone, "And all those things they say about gargoyles on top of that building where he works… Eerie Building…and the rumors of someone who looks a lot like him at Renard Enterprises…" she gave a small laugh, "It's probably just me, right?" She turned to Elisa to notice that shocked expression on her.

"I'm curious…" Elisa continued, "That detective of yours… he's really good, isn't he?"

Norma shrugged, "I guess. Then again… he's a two-bit hack with lots of underground connections. Maybe those connections made the job for him." Then she added, "You know something, don't you?"

"Uh…who me? I don't know anything about Owen!" she stuttered. "We don't exactly talk a lot…!"

She gave Elisa a cunning look. "I'm not easy to fool. And I know Owen, for one, is lying." Norma gave her a sly gaze. "Surely, you…being so friendly with Xanatos and all… must have mentioned his family at least once, right?"

_Lady, you have no idea…_was what Elisa thought. "No. Never."

Norma gave a little grunt. "How dare he deny his own mother!" her tone turned sad, "Was I so awful he doesn't love me anymore?" her eyes began to fill with tears, "Where did I go wrong?"

"Don't cry!" Elisa replied as she reached for a Kleenex and handed it to Norma. "You don't understand. There is no chance, no way, no how you could be Owen's mother. _Believe_ _me_, it is not possible."

"Then why would he lie on his school records?" Norma asked.

Elisa froze. "What do you mean?"

"I told you. I wasn't about to throw myself at his mercy unless I was convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt." Norma replied, "His school record is total fiction." _Owen never went to school!_ Elisa reasoned, _And that Alan disappeared when he was 15… if I where Alan's dad… that's the first thing I would fake…_ "Are you sure he's not my son…?"

* * *

It was mid-day when Elisa arrived at Wyvern once more. "We weren't expecting you during the day, Miss Maza." Owen greeted. "How can I be of service?"

"You're busted, trickster." Elisa replied. "This Norma Burnett… she's bad news in the making."

Xanatos soon joined them; the lady cop briefed them. "An error in my school records?" Owen asked, slightly alarmed. "What's that suppose to mean?"

"There was an error in the dates!" Elisa replied, "Some list your birth year in 1964, others in 1959. That's a five year difference."

"We could blame the computers," Xanatos interjected, "Happens all the time."

"Mr. Xanatos, the fact is that I never went to school. We could blame the computers, but she still has yearbooks and other things to research." Owen replied, "She's a grief-blinded, desperate woman who won't believe anything I tell her."

"Well, she's a grief-blinded, desperate _and sharp_ woman." Xanatos answered.

"Gets worse." Elisa continued, "Her detective may be a bum, but he's really, really good at his job. If she doesn't find anything on Owen, she's gonna move on to the rest of us. And lets' face it, we have lots of dirty secrets, from clones, to mutates, to gargoyles, to annoying in-laws, if you know what I mean."

"That _is_ bad " Said Owen, "How tenacious is she?"

"She looked for Alan for twenty years, I say _very_ tenacious. A little thing like you denying her won't stop her." Xanatos replied. After a brief moments of silence, he gave a slight smile, "However…" he turned to Owen, "You're similarity to little Alan _is_ astounding."

Owen knew that look and didn't appreciate it, "What?"

Xanatos took out the photo Mrs. Burnett had given him and passed it to Elisa, "Could he pass for Alan?"

"Hmm…" Elisa said, "It's totally amazing. I wouldn't be surprised if she turned out to be Owen's mother after all…"

"How?" Owen replied, sharply.

The millionaire and the lady cop exchanged looks. "You know… it would get her off our backs…" Elisa started.

"Absolutely not!" Owen replied. "There is no way I will agree to this charade!"

"We have no choice." Xanatos replied, "She may be a grief-blinded, desperate woman but she has _connections_! If she were to find out about the gargoyles…!"

"Quarrymen would love her…" Elisa quickly added, "And just about all of our enemies."

"She's delusional!" Owen retorted.

"She's smart!" Xanatos replied. "She is _desperate_. Not only would it help us, it would help _her_ let go."

Owen found himself pinned against the wall. "I'm no one's savior."

"At least do it for mercy." Elisa pleaded. "You never had a mother. Consider it a learning experience."

"No." the blond man replied coldly. "Next time she comes, I'll call security. There's no way I'm going to do this."

Xanatos and Elisa exchanged looks. The same thought crossed through their minds: _Not if we can't help it…_

* * *

It was late now, near sun set already. Owen was in his office finishing a few reports, though his mind was elsewhere, _Me? Pretend I'm her son? It's ridiculous._

A knock in the door interrupted him. "Owen? Can I come in?" Xanatos asked.

"Of course," was the reply. _I know where this is going…_he thought.

"About Mrs. Burnett…" _bingo_, "It would only be for awhile. You could help her accept it and then we could all move on."

"I won't do it."

Xanatos frowned. "Where's your sense of compassion? That woman lost her child and you're the closest thing she has. Can't you relate to her pain?"

Owen shot him a smug look. "No." then added, "Since when do _you_?"

"Why do I even bother with you?" the millionaire replied with a frown. "You don't have children, you don't know how it felt to almost loose mine. You may be Alex's uncle, but you'll never love him the way I do. So I guess you can't relate to Mrs. Burnett either. Maybe you _do_ need to spend sometime with that woman. Maybe she'll teach you 'something'."

"I won't do it." He replied, inflexible.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Xanatos continued, with a sigh. "Because I already called her and announced that you're Alan after all."

"But sir…!"

"Don't 'sir' me. The fact is that she's a threat to the castle security. I won't allow her to continue her investigation. If that means you're going to pretend you're her son, so be it." Xanatos retorted seriously, then added in that confident smug tone of his, "Don't sic the dogs on her. No son would do that to his mother."

Owen gave a frown and a disgusted grunt, but offered no resistance. _Out of the frying pan and into the fire…_a little choice echoed, _I gotta get another job…_

* * *

Norma Burnett hugged him and squeezed him like toothpaste. "I'm so glad you finally came around!" she exclaimed in joy.

Owen 'Alan' Burnett put up it with patience. "Be affective, Alan," Xanatos had told him, "She's your mother."

"Whoa," Norma continued, "So you lost your memory in an accident years ago and remember nothing of your childhood?"

"That's right!" Xanatos answered for him. "Nasty accident, isn't that right, Alan?"

Owen gave him a coldly angered look. _You'd think he'd pull a more convincing story than that…_

"_Yeah,"_ Xanatos had told the woman, _"He…uh…fell and forgot lots of stuff…and his parents were listed as dead and he had no other family so…we had only what good 'old Charles had written…and he had died years ago…so…we didn't think much of it…heh, heh…So, naturally, he wouldn't remember you or anything about Charles for that matter…"_

That had to be the worse lie Xanatos had made up ever, but Norma seemed to buy it. "So Charles made up a lie…and then you lost your memory… and thought that lie was the truth." She paused. "That sounds like a soap opera."

"The truth is stranger than fiction." Xanatos piped in. "For all we know, stone statues could come alive at night and fairies could walk among us measly humans…"

She turned to Owen and asked, "Is it true? You don't remember anything about your childhood?"

Not knowing what to say, he quickly improvised, "It's…a blur…I remember… bits like…birthdays…"

"Like your 10th birthday?"

He hesitated, "Yeah, sure…and… dates…"

"Dates?" she repeated, "But you weren't an outgoing boy…"

"I remember getting _turned down_ on dates…" he quickly replied, "that's right… getting turned down…"

"Well," said Xanatos, as he stood up and rubbed his hands together, "I'll leave you two alone to reminisce then. Oh, yeah… I took the liberty of reserving a table at a nice little restaurant downtown. Owen will take you," he turned to his assistant, "right?"

Owen's eyes reflected the nervousness and annoyance of the situation. "Of course. I'm sure…mother… and I will have a delightful time. Won't we…mother?" he asked Norma. 

Norma smiled and nodded. "I'm sure we will. Then I can tell you all about your life. Perhaps jog that memory." She replied smiling and holding Owen's hand.

Xanatos nodded, pleased with the situation. _Please, just let them get along._ He prayed and walked out. 

Nekohanten was…the most unique restaurant Owen had ever been to. Norma loved it though. It was a French-Chinese restaurant owned by a short little man who was Chinese, but only spoke French. Luckily, he was only the manager and wherever he went, a translator followed. The two were ushered to a little corner booth where they would have some privacy. They sat and ordered drinks. A martini for Owen and an orange juice for Norma.

"Really Alan, I didn't think you drank alcohol." Norma commented as she placed her napkin in her lap.

Owen mentally sighed. "If you don't mind, mother, please, call me Owen. I'm used to it more than I am to Alan."

Norma gave Owen an unsure glance but nodded. "All right. I think I can deal with that." She stared down the orange juice until she had the courage to ask, "What happened to your arm?"

He was momentarily thrown off course, until he realized she was talking about his stone left arm. "Remember when I had the… memory-loosing accident?" He quickly improvised. "This was… a side-effect… of it. I'd rather not talk about it. It's… a blur. Just ignore it." 

"Oh," she said sheepishly, "Now, what do you remember about your past? Besides birthdays and dates." 

Owen thought back. _I remember Oberon and Titania. I remember Lilly and the Sisters. I remember the waterfall._ Owen began to smile and chuckle.

"You're remembering your tenth birthday?" Norma asked, pleased at her boy's smile. 

Owen's smile disappeared. _Now what?_ _I've really no choice anyway. I have to keep her away from the castle records, so…_"Uh…yes. My tenth. It's a little blurry mother. Could you tell me about it?" he asked. 

Norma smiled. "We had a clown that day, and we had donkey rides. You loved riding the donkey. All your friends, what friends you had, came over—"

"I didn't have many friends?" Owen asked, a bit sad at hearing this. 

Norma shook her head. "No, Owen. You didn't. Probably five at the most, but it didn't matter. You were my boy and you loved reading." 

"What did I read?" Owen asked. He now seemed a bit interested in what his life could've been like.

"You loved Shakespeare. Especially, 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' and 'Hamlet'. You loved all the comedies. I remember that for your twelfth birthday I gave you the complete works of Shakespeare. I remember the smile on your face." Norma answered, beaming at the thoughts. She turned to him, merry thoughts still dancing in her head, and she said, "It's so nice to have you back, Alan dearest. It'll be so grand to be a family again! Aren't you excited?"

Owen shifted uncomfortably. "You know…mother… this is all very new to me…I need some time to take it all in. So… if we could go at it more slowly, I'd appreciate it…"

"Of course. I know, I know… I'm just so happy to see you alive and well!" Norma replied joyously. "My friends… they thought I was a fool, that it was hopeless. But here you are! My little boy! All grown-up! That'll show them! And such a fine gentleman!" She laughed delightedly, her laughter echoing like bells. "Oh, Owen, even with you gone, you never stopped being my life…I'm never letting you go again. _Ever_."

"That's…nice…" Owen replied, unsure, and the rest of the evening was spent in petty chit-chat.

* * *

It was nightfall when Owen came back from dinner with Norma. It was rather nice, he admitted that much, but to be so cuddled by a woman who swore she was his mother…

He tried to push the thought away. His most immediate challenge was to be harassed by a thousand questions from Xanatos, who had been more excited about the entire prospect than Owen himself.

__

By the grace of God, go we…He stepped off the elevator to the castle's main floor, where Xanatos, arms crossed instantaneously asked, "How'd it go?"

"Fine."

"How's Norma?"

"Fine."

"How was dinner?"

"Fine."

At his assistant unwillingness to reply with a more coherent answer, Xanatos frowned, "It couldn't possibly go that bad…"

"It wasn't bad." Owen replied, visibly disgruntled. "It's just…she's so convinced that I'm her Alan."

"It's ok…"

"It's not ok. She honestly thinks I'm her long-lost son. Poor woman. She's deluded herself completely; she's unwilling to accept the truth."

"It'll be fine. Oh, she'll come around. I know she knows that you're not Alan."

Owen sighed, "I'm glad I'll never have to go through _that_ again…"

Xanatos stopped dead on his tracks, and said, "It's not over yet."

Owen turned back and replied, "There's more? I already took her to dinner, like you ordered. I have to take her again?"

"It's not over until she either a) swears she's your mother and leaves or b) admits she's not your mother, and leaves anyway."

"How am I supposed to tell her that I'm not her son while trying to convince her that I am?" Owen complained. "I can't do both. If she gets suspicious, she'll look through our files again…"

"Wear her out."

"What?"

"Wear her out." Xanatos repeated. "Owen, she _knows_. Parents always recognize their children. It's a sixth sense. Mothers know everything, and she'll convince herself when she notices a few things off the kilter. Twenty years is a long time, but Norma is anything but stupid."

"What am I to do meanwhile?"

Xanatos gave a slight smile. "Be yourself. You two may look alike, but each person is different. I'm sure your likeness is just skin deep… I _know_ that your likeness is skin deep… Heck, the entire clan knows that, so will she."

ACT III

__

~ Actor in the role ~

By the next day, Owen buried himself in enough paperwork to forget, or at least hide his situation. Because it had kept him up all night. And he found himself thinking about his mother, something that had never even bothered him before. Not 'bother', more like morbid curiosity. 

But he was fey, and family ties weren't that relevant. Heck, when it came down to it, he was just a little orphan bastard working for Oberon, who could be his real father, though neither party cared.

But that particular train of thought was very deep inside his subconscious, his main focus was on the papers on his desk. Brooding over his so-called childhood would do him little good and he rather not think about it. It was something he never wanted to think about.

And buried they stayed, like they had always been, until that fated yet dreaded call from security. "Mr. Burnett, your… mother… is here."

Suddenly, images of the long-lost Avalon past returned with a vengeance, and he pushed them aside. "Let her in."

He met her in the elevator and she hugged him, squeezing the air out of him. "Let… go…no…air…"

Upon noticing she was choking him, Norma backed away. While he tried to regain his breath, she apologized, "Oh, I'm sorry, my baby, I just was so excited to see you again!"

"It's ok…" he mumbled. "I'm glad to see you too…"

She grabbed him by the arm in a playfully mother-like grip and said, "So, what have been up to, Owen darling?"

Uncomfortable but polite, he said, "Actually, mother, you've caught me in a bad time. I was just now finishing a very important report for Mr. Xanatos."

"Oh, I'm sorry." She said, embarrassed. "I… I should've called first. I can come by later if I bother you…"

"No, don't leave…!" _Like I could actually feel any worse…_"I--I can finish it later."

She smiled pleasantly. "All right. If you want to."

Owen found himself wondering what to do now. "So… would you like some cappuccinos…?"

"I'd love to."

He led her to the library, and quickly left to the kitchen to look for coffee, all the while thinking, _What do I do? What do I do?_ While the cappuccino machine did it's stuff, he tried to come up with conversation topics and possibly lies to make up in case she began to wonder about what else he remembered. Unfortunately, he went blank. _I'll make it up as I go along…_He came back to the library with a pair of cappuccinos in hand.

She drank down her cappuccino rather quickly. "Tell me, what have you done with your life all this time? I mean… I've seen you already have a good job. But what about a family?"

"I'm Alex's--" he was about to say 'uncle', but changed his mind. "You mean a wife… I've been… busy…"

"You're not from the… 'Other side', right?"

He pondered the question because he didn't know what she talked about. Then: "I don't like boys, I like girls, if that's what you mean." He said, insulted.

"I'm sorry… I'm sure of that… I was just wondering. I'd love you any way." And to change the subject, she said, "So… what else do you remember about your childhood?"

"Not much." He replied. "Bits and pieces… What about my fifth birthday? Did we do anything special for that?" Owen asked.

Norma shook her head. "Not especially special. We had your grandparents over."

Owen's ear perked up. "My grandparents? Ha-bu and hibaa-chan?" 

Norma's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Ha-bu? Hibaa-chan? You never called them that." 

Owen looked down at his cappuccino. "It's Chinese. I don't remember what I called them, but if I had the chance, I thought I would call them that. I've grown accustomed to speaking foreign languages." he explained.

Norma smiled and sipped her coffee. "Do you know many foreign languages?" she asked, becoming proud that her son had grown much smarter over the years.

"Yes," Owen began, "Simple things like Latin and Italian, then I know French, German, Greek, Chinese, so on so forth. I probably know at least twelve." He said, on the border of bragging.

Norma smiled, "You've become so smart...Owen." 

They went on. The two talking mainly about Owen's childhood and he loved the idea that just possibly he could've really been Alan. How he had birthday parties and studied. Had a mother who loved him and at once, a father who loved him. Grandparents and relatives, people who loved and adored him. Something he'd never had before.

They spent quite a few hours talking, and next thing they both knew, Norma had to leave. "Oh, Owen, this has been a wonderful day!" She told him as he escorted her to the elevator.

"It was nice having you around." He returned.

"Before I forget," she dug around her bag, and took out a small pocket watch. "This is yours."

He was embarrassed beyond believe, but he was careful not to show it. "I can't."

"Why not? This is yours. It was your grandpa's watch. He gave it to you to fix, then told you to keep it."

"You… kept it?"

"Of course. It's yours." She said, matter-of-factly.

He had a thousand reasons not to accept it, but sorry for him, pity took the better of him. It was wrong. It was a lie. He was lying to the old woman. But still: "Thank you… mother…"

"You're welcomed, my boy." She replied as she vanished behind the elevator's doors.

Now he felt truly disgusted with himself. Memories of Avalon came back, though he had promised himself he'd stop looking back the instant he challenged Oberon.

Now he felt horribly homesick. Now he thought about the eternity of loneliness before him and the eternity of loneliness behind him, and he desperately wished for suicide or beer, whichever came first.

Because he was far away from Avalon and he had never met his own mother. It was really stupid to dwell upon it a thousand years later, but still he wondered what would've happened if she had been around. Many things wouldn't have happened if she had been there for him. Everything would've been entirely different and maybe, maybe, he wouldn't feel as lonely as now.

And all these thoughts were really annoying him. Someone once said that it was better to be a disgruntled Socrates than a happy fool, but he really didn't need a moral dilemma to deal with, or a bunch of might-have-beens.

Damn him; all this business was really getting on his nerves. He was getting on his own nerves. And that was more that his poor old him could handle.

* * *

When Xanatos came back, all was quiet in the castle. Sunset was a pair of hours away, Fox had taken little Alex shopping, and he had taken the remainder of the day for himself.

Now someone else had too, judging by the bottles of whiskey on the floor, which led a suspicious trail to the gargoyles 'common room', with the big screen tv.

"Greg, you moron!!" he heard a suspiciously familiar voice of a certain fey that usually made his appearances at night.

He entered the tv room, where the drunk one was lying on the sofa, muttering at the tv with a bottle of whisky. It took him a few moments to realize that he wasn't alone. "Davie, my boy! Come in!"

"Puck? Are you drunk?"

"Is the sky blue? Of cours' I'm drunk… obvious even… come 'ere…" He sat straight and pulled Xanatos toward sofa. "This is really fun. It's a documental. Its' a fun documental, can you imagine? It's called 'Body Story'. In this episode, our hero's Greg, the geek, and man's eternal struggle between common sense and instincts. Join us in his quest as he gets drunk an' tries to get laid. Right now, his evolved brain gave up on him hours ago..."

"Puck…"

"And he orders pizza…!"

"Hey…"

"I'm surprised it can still talk…"

"Give me that." Xanatos yanked the bottle from his hands. "What's the meaning of this?"

"I'm feeling philosofical today… and it's killin' me." He replied, as he took the bottle again. "Norma came by today. She gave me a watch… no, she gave _Alan_ a watch… and then it dawned on me that I hate my life." He paused. "Look at me. I used to be Oberon's best. Look at me now. I'm banished from home, I'm half-powered, I can die (it really begins to bug me) and I work for a human---no offence---"

"---none taken---"

"And my childhood sucked. Norma brought back all those… _humiliations_. If I had had a mother, maybe my life wouldn't been as screwed up as it is now. _Oberon _raised me, for goodness sake! How more screwed up can it get?"

Xanatos sighed. Ah, regrets. The good I-should've-but-I-didn't. And a bottle of whisky. What a combination. "You know," he said, "Nothing I can say will make you feel better. At the risk of sounding cliched, the past is set and done, and there's really not much you could do about but try not to think about it."

"That's what I do. I never think about it. That's Owen's job. That's why I'm there, to avoid thinking about it. Because it's easier to be cold and unemotional than to face the music."

"The way I see it, you can hide from it, or get it over with." Xanatos replied neutrally. "This is your problem. I'm not going to interfere."

Puck suddenly gave him a look. "So you're also running away, eh?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Face it, Davie-boy. Sometimes, we're so alike, it's scary. I'm trying to get rid of gloom and you're trying to get rid of doom. I have Owen, you have cute lil Alex and all those billions to hide behind." Then he added with a softer voice. "But you know what brings it all back? Mothers. It's so simple; it's stupid. Mothers bring it all back. All those centuries of abuse come back when a stranger who thinks she's your mother gives you her little boy's watch."

"I've gotten over the immortality gig. You're wrong. I have Alex, and he's my legacy."

"Oh, but you have a long way to go, Davie-boy." Puck replied with a smirk, "What about the mutates and all those people whose lives where destroyed in your name… what would your mother say? Hmm? Tell me, Davie-boy… how was your mother like?"

Xanatos shot him an insulted look. "What'd you care?"

"Touché. None of my business. But still. Would you be the man you are right now if mommy had stuck around for more years? Would you be you if she were here? What would she think of you if she were here? You know what? Don't think. Just forget I said that. Even Attila the Hun would crumble down when he'd think of mommy. Then it's Niagara Falls for you."

"Bullshit." Xanatos replied.

But he found himself looking back at a Christmas many winters ago, back when he was a little boy, and mommy was still around, and she'd enter the living room with those fresh-baked cookies and she'd smell like chocolate and she'd take that smell to the grave.

What _would_ his mother think of him if she were here? Xanatos suddenly felt a thing in his eye.

Puck arched an eyebrow. "Niagara Falls, big guy."

Xanatos shot him a look and barked, "Give me that bottle."

* * *

She came back the next day, around mid-day, and Owen found she had a lousy timing. He had just woken up a few hours before, with a horribly strong hangover, brought on by his other half's mid-life crisis.

And when Norma Burnett encountered her little boy, who looked as if he'd been put through the grinder, she began to cuddle him and insist on making chicken soup.

"It's all right, mother. I'm fine." He told her, half-groggy.

"Nonsense." She said as she dragged him to his room. "You should rest."

Though Owen was very organized and methodical at times, Puck somehow managed to shine through; and he liked to manifest himself in messes, like shirts thrown all over the room. It didn't help he was drunk like a dog last night.

"What a mess!" Norma said as she began to pick stuff from the floor. "How many times have I told you? Dirty clothes go in the hamper."

"Yes, mother…" he replied sheepishly.

"Shirts… ties… Playboy magazine?"

He quickly yanked it off her hands and said, "That's Mr. Xanatos'!" He quickly stuffed it in a drawer.

Norma arched an eyebrow and said, "Sure it is…"

She cleaned the room up, something Owen found particularly annoying, and would've sent him to bed if he hadn't put up one hell of a resistance. "But, mo-om…!"

"Fine, fine…" Norma replied with a truly parental sigh. That matter settled, he had to keep her occupied from checking if he had a fever or something.

He guided her to Xanatos' man-made waterfall, which took her breath away. "It's so… beautiful…"

It was truly a stunning view. The waterfall wasn't very high, but it was no less impressive than any other waterfall. One could mistake Xanatos' garden for a forest, if it weren't for the four walls of the castle.

"So your boss has his own tropical forest. How eccentric."

"Mr. Xanatos _is_ one of a kind."

She strolled around the garden, fascinated by it all. Owen watched, rather pleased. He'd seen the garden everyday, so he was used to it. It was good to see each person's surprise when they saw it.

It occurred to him that she hadn't spoken of Alan's father. Out of curiosity, Owen said, "How was father like?"

She spun around, startled by the question. "Well… what's to say? He was a good man, when he didn't carry the bottle around, that is. We divorced the year before you were gone. There's not much to it."

Owen saw a chance to maybe bring her down to her senses and make her reason he wasn't Alan after all. But he didn't know how to go about it. "So," He began, "Why didn't you give up? I mean, boat accident and all."

"Because they never found the bodies. And here you are."

"But…" he replied, improvising, "…you know I don't remember. Maybe he died after all. Maybe the people who… took care of me were friends of father. Maybe--"

"Now, now, what are the chances of that happening?" Norma interrupted.

"What are the chances of finding your dead son after 20 years?" Owen quickly retorted, though he immediately regretted it. 

She looked stricken and she stuttered, "Don't tell me you still don't think that…?"

"No! No." Owen quickly amended. "All I'm saying is that… it could happen. Nothing's impossible, just mathematically improbable."

She looked relieved at the response. _Coward,_ said an echo, _playing along with a desperate woman just because you can't come clean with her…_

"Why don't we go out, mother?" he said, "To Nekohanten. You liked it, right?"

"I'd love to!"

* * *

Owen drove them to the little restaurant soon thereafter. She was so endlessly proud of him, even though he was so quiet sometimes. Well, twenty years can change a person. And he did loose his memory (or did he?)

Norma tried to push the thought away. True, he did act somewhat differently, but he's an adult now. Yes. That's it. He just grew up.

They entered the colorful restaurant and she immediately spotted the gracious host with his translator following him. It was such a lovely restaurant.

But Owen was unusually quiet tonight. Like he was thinking about something, and having a hard time figuring what to do and say next.

They ordered the same things from before, only that he opted for water instead of alcohol, probably remembering her scowl.

"You shouldn't have. Not on my account."

"What?"

"If you want a martini, go right ahead. I won't whine about it."  
He gave her slight smile and said, "It's ok, mother. I'm fine."

From the little corner of the restaurant, Norma began to say, "I'm so glad to have you back, Owen dearest. You still don't remember lots of things. Maybe you could ask Mr. Xanatos for a few days off so we can drop by your hometown. Wouldn't that be nice? I'm sure it would bring lots of memories too."

Owen seemed unsure for a couple of moments. "I… don't think that'll be possible."

"How come? Mr. Xanatos will understand."

"It's not that… it's that…I'm busy…"

A coming waiter with their food interrupted him. He simply poked the food, not very hungry, she assumed. The rest was petty chit-chat.

When dinner was over, she assumed he'd take her back to her hotel, but he said, "Mother, there's something I want to tell you. You've shared with me a childhood I've forgotten, but I have to tell you what I remember and you may not understand. You may not like it, but I want us to become good friends, and I know we can, but you have to understand me first."

"Owen, I don't understand." Norma said as he took her back to the Eerie building.

He led her upstairs and to his room and made her sit in a chair. "What's going on?"

"I just want you to know that I'm very grateful for all the attention you've given me. Nobody has cared for me like you. I never had a mother before. It's a shame I missed it."

She was about to ask what did he mean by that, when Owen and his features slowly melted into that of a young-looking, white-haired man. Norma gasped and held her hand against her chest.

"Alan?" Norma asked, startled. He shook his head.

"Mrs. Burnett, my name is Robin Goodfellow, but everyone knows me as the Puck. When we were telling you Owen couldn't be your son, we were right. I don't think you had me as a child." 

Norma shook her head. Puck smiled, but continued with, "But, if you'll let me, I would like to be your son. I probably could never replace the love you had for Alan, but perhaps you can love me just the same. We did look a lot alike and I'd be pleased for you to get to know me."

Norma breathed in deep and looked at Puck with a few tears in her eyes. "I should have known he had died during that time. I should have known all about it. He had died and I never got to say good-bye. I don't have any sons now." Norma cried. Puck went over and hugged Mrs. Burnett. 

"You can have me." He said, "I've always wanted a mother, I never got one, but you can be my mother. Please, mother, be mine." Puck said, choking a few tears as well. Norma looked into his face and hugged him.

"Oh Robin, I'll let you be my son. My second son. You can be Alan and Robin." She said, smiling and crying. Puck smiled in return.

Epilogue

Xanatos watched as a red Porsche drove into the Eerie building's garage. He knew that Owen and Norma were coming back from Nekohanten's. It had become the restaurant where they always went. Xanatos had watched as Owen spent quality time with his new mother and he was proud the two had come together in happiness. He also knew that sending them out to dinner that night was the best thing he could've done. 

__

Life doesn't always go the way we want it. He thought, _but when it compromises, I think people are happy with the results._

****

FIN

Author's note: Heh, heh. Weird, ain't? Well, what you just read was written by Nabiki GMYW, yours truly, but it was really Ordeysia's idea to give Owen a mommy. A cool idea, I do believe. I salute you, mon capitan.

(July 21, 1999) 

   [1]: mailto:epagan@caribe.net
   [2]: mailto:Winturbine@compuall.net



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